Star City

Oh well

2007-03-11T00:19:57Z

I sit alone in my room, the cold night air chilling me to the bone.

I have forsaken company and group activities this evening in favour sitting around reading. Sometimes I can be an antisocial motherfucker at the drop of a hat.

I blame the mood swings, I was fine until about four o'clock this afternoon, that was when I turned into a morose car wreck of a man. Nothing set it off, I'd had a pretty good day, did sweet FA at work and had a pub lunch with some mates, it was proving to be quite a decent day.

Then BOOM, instant depression.

I think the worst thing about the downard swings is that when I'm like this I remember how little I care about anyone other than myself.

Callous? Yes.

It's true, when I'm like this it really brings into focus my utter disgust of humanity as a whole, I wish it were otherwise but, hey, there ya go.

Go on, stoke my ego!

2007-02-21T23:47:57Z

Please leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me.

It can only be one word. No more.

Then copy & paste this in your journal so that I may leave a word about you.

This amused me

2006-12-17T22:13:22Z

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Prince_Agraxor sent to me...

Twelve tattoos drumming

Eleven deftones piping

Ten books a-leaping

Nine movies dancing

Eight wargames a-milking

Seven comics a-roleplaying

Six piercings a-nightwing

Five dc co-o-o-omics

Four wood elves

Three pc games

Two vg cats

...and a brom in a sin city.

Sad

2006-11-23T01:56:41Z

I've noticed I only seem to update this when I'm feeling bad.

Pehaps I should change that.

Not tonight though. Tonight I'm in one of those moods that make me say "what's the fucking point?"

Really, am I missing something?

I feel so fucking pathetic just now. I spent 10 minutes without something to distract me and I now wish I was dead.

I shall attempt an update when I'm cheery, although don't hold your breath, you might suffocate.

Game-tacular

2006-11-23T01:37:46Z

You scored as Character Player. The Character Player enjoys creating in-depth characters with distinct and rich personalities. He identifies closely with his characters, feeling detached from the game if he doesnâ��t. He takes creative pride in exploring different characters, often making each new one radically different than others heâ��s played. The Character Player bases his decisions on his character's psychology first and foremost. He may view rules as a necessary evil at best, preferring sessions in which the dice never come out of their bags. For the Character Player, the greatest reward comes from experiencing the game from the emotional perspective of an interesting character.

</td>

Character Player

95%

Storyteller

90%

Weekend Warrior

35%

Casual Gamer

30%

Tactician

25%

Power Gamer

Specialist

What RPG Player (Not Character) Type Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

Rage

2006-10-18T22:58:12Z

Despite having just laughed myself sill at Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby I am inexplicably filled with rage.

I honestly feel as if the only thing that will make me feel better is beating someone to a pulp with my bare hands. The feel of a fist connecting with flesh is a distant memory, but I recall it being a good one.

It worries me a little that I feel this way, but I'm long since past caring about things like this anymore since I pretty much know I'll either feel euphoric or like I want to die when I wake up.

Fuck it.

Meh

2006-10-10T01:06:38Z

Well, the moods swings started again today.

I hadn't had any in quite a while and then today they came back with a vengance. I woke up feeling pretty good, wasn't too bad on the subway then I got out and felt like I wanted to curl up and die.

So, I get to work and head to the toilet prior to starting, I realise that I'm so stressed that I think I might vomit, which wasn't helping at all. I make a coffe and sit down, it's nice and quiet and I deal with a few technical support and billing enquiries, then all of a sudden I feel much better. It gets busy, I feel fine.

Then suddenly, for no apparent reason, boom, it hits me again. I almost started crying while on the phone to a dealer, it's never been this bad before.

This continues throughout the day until I reach this point here. Hopefully things'll be better tomorrow, although I'm going to bring this up with my new doctor, since the old one was, well, shite.

How hum, as I often say,so it goes.

Meme I pinched

2006-03-23T19:32:38Z

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was behind you?
Toilet doors

2. How much cash did you spend yesterday?
£28.50

3. What's a word that rhymes with mist?
Drizzt

4. Favorite planet, on which you would live, if you could?
Erm, the Earth, the others don't have suitable environments to support human life!

5. Who is the last person you kissed?
A girl who I shall not name. Gentlemen never kiss and tell.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
I like them all, although "Walk" by Pantera is a rather good one

7. What is the last band shirt you wore?
I'm wearing a Metallica one right now

8. What do you think of yourself?
I am the shiznit

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Generic, brandless trainers

10. Night light or pitch black?
Pitch Black

11. What do you think about the (previous) person who took this?
She's cool, I don't allow dorks on my friends list

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Reading "The Dark Knight Returns" by Frank Miller

13. What did your last text message say that you received?
Jesus died and returned from the dead in three days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour, and he's done it twice.

14. Where is the nearest Valero?
Assuming this is refering to a refinery.
"The Paulsboro refinery is located in southern New Jersey, just 15 miles south of Philadelphia."

15. What's something that you say a lot?
Groovy

16. Who told you they loved you last?
I can't remember, I think it was my ex-wife

17. Last furry thing you touched?
I brushed against a fake fur coat while retrieving my jacket from a hanger at work

18. How many drugs have you done in the past 3 days?
I've had a cold, so I've taken what can only be described as a "fuckload"

19. Favourite age you have been so far?
Meh

20. Your worst enemy?
Myself

21. What is your current desktop picture?
The "American Idiot" album cover

22. What was the last thing you said to someone?
I'm off upstairs

23. How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled

24. Do you like someone?
I like several people, I call them friends, it's a fairly common state of being. If the question means romantically the answer is also yes, I'm not a eunuch.

25. The last song you listened to?
Yesterdat Don't Mean Shit - Pantera

WOOOOOOO FUCKIN' HOOOOOOO!

2006-03-16T23:33:30Z

I ordered Iron Maiden tickets today!

Fuck.

Yeah.

What happened?

2006-03-12T01:59:41Z

I wonder sometimes what happened to me? How I ended up like this, depressed and alone, sitting in front of the PC, drunk and wondering if the world would be a better place if I just didn't wake up tomorrow.

I'm 24 fucking years old and have nothing to really look forward to, other than a few gigs, which aren't exactly earth-shattering events.

If I walked out into the snow and lay down to sleep and froze to death, would anyone notice? Who would weep for me when I'm gone? I know that I wouldn't.

Fuck this crazy carousel we call life. I hate it.

I live for the desperate possibility something might occur that'll make it tolerable, but the possibility seems to decrease on an almost daily basis.

Fuck

This

Shit

One of them thar update things!

2006-03-01T01:33:34Z

So, yeah, an update.

Pretty much anyone who read this will know what I've been up to already, but hey, other folk may stumble on in and wonder what the Grax has been up to.

Work's been sending me around the bend, I've been doing craploads of compiling and admin-type work on a new project. We've been contacting people who have sent knackered phones to be repaired and telling then that they are, oh joy. I've been collating all the data.

I also applied to be a deputy team leader today, don't know if I'll get it, but what the fuck, I might as well give it a shot. The way I see it I'm grabbing a rung on the corporate ladder and trying to climb. Hell, i wan't to stay with my work for as long as humanly possible, they're the first place I've worked where I've been treated as more than a random piece of meat that answers a phone.

I also got my bonus, so I've been buying shedloads of stuff including 40K minis and anime. HMV has a sale on, so i bought Spirited Away for £5, Virus (complete series) for £8 and Sky Blue for £12. Also got a couple of albums, so i now own everything by My Ruin (finally) and I picked up an Alabama 3 cd, Exile on Coldharbour Lane, tis awesome.

The Disturbed gig got pushed back to September, that's 11 months, 11 fucking months.

Argh, running out of coherent and sensible things to say, but it is 0130, eh what?

Ach well, until next time.

Grax out.

prince_agraxor @ 2005-12-09T01:37:00

2005-12-09T01:36:33Z

Your 2005 Song Is

Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

"My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating"

In 2005, you bummed everyone out. Like you care.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

Religion Test

2005-11-13T01:46:30Z

So, I retried this one and it was 100% accurate, go figure.

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.

</td>

Satanism

100%

atheism

88%

Paganism

54%

Judaism

42%

Islam

42%

Buddhism

42%

agnosticism

42%

Christianity

Hinduism

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Squabbling

2005-11-13T00:26:29Z

I deleted the last two entries to avoid any more fighting on my LJ.

I don't go onto anyones LJ and disparage their friends, please don't do it to me.

*Edited to correct spelling error and unlock*

I feel like a nutjob now.....

2005-11-09T23:35:51Z

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Very High
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	High
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	High
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Very High
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Very High
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Very High
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	High
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

Destroyer, eh?

2005-11-06T12:43:19Z

Chaotic-Evil

24% Good, 76% Chaotic

I'm
starting a longer version of this test, and I would REALLY appreciate
some suggestions for questions from members of all alignments. Please
email me with a suggestion, along with the alignment you scored on this
test. THANK YOU!! I will make it a seperate test and will include tendencies, kinda like the "Long Scientific Personality Test vs. the Quick and Dirty Personality test.

Plane of Existence: The Abyss, "Plane of Infinite Layers". Notable Inhabitants: Demons.

Examples of Chaotic-Evils (Ethically Chaotic, Morally Evil)

Sephiroth (FFVII)

Jack The Ripper

Baron Vladamir Harkonnen

Blackbeard the Pirate

Cruella DeVille

Khan Noonian Singh

Dr. Evil

Professor Moriarty

Lord Voldemort

Actively opposes law, order, good, and all other sissy constraints on
doing whatever he or she feels like doing. The stereotypical chaotic
evil [person] is the black knight, roaming around on his own, looking
for something nasty to do.

Will not necessarily keep their word

Would attack an unarmed foe

Will use poisons

Will not help those in need

Prefers to work alone

Responds poorly to higher authority

Distrustful of organizations

Self-preservation and personal gain are their ultimate goals.

Less inclined to long term planning.

Chaotic Evil "Demonic"

"Destroyer"

A chaotic evil [person] does whatever his greed, hatred, and lust
for destruction drive him to do. If he is simply out for whatever he
can get, he is ruthless and brutal. If he is committed to the spread of
evil and chaos, he is even worse. Fortunately, his plans are haphazard,
and any groups he joins or forms are poorly organized. Typically,
chaotic evil people can be made to work together only by force, and
their leader lasts only as long as he can thwart attempts to topple or
assassinate him.

These [people] will commit any act to further their own ends.
Chaotic evil is sometimes called "demonic" because demons are the
epitome of chaotic evil.

Chaotic evil is power without control, selfishness unfettered by any law.

Other Alignments and Tendencies (Tendenices are what you would more often sway towards; esp. for Neutrals):

0-39% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Evil

0-39% Good, 40-60% Chaotic: Neutral-Evil

40-60% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Neutral

40-60% Good, 40-60% Chaotic: True Neutral

40-60% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Neutral

61-100% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Good

61-100% Good, 40-60% Chaotic: Neutral-Good

61-100% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Good

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 2% on Good
You scored higher than 93% on Chaotic

Link: The Alignment Test written by xan81 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Ouchtown

2005-08-27T21:41:34Z

Got an industrial on my left ear yesterday, it bled quite a lot it did.

Looks cool though :)

Hmmmmmm........

2005-08-25T23:30:20Z

prince_agraxor @ 2005-08-25T23:27:00

2005-08-25T22:31:55Z

So yeah, I haven't updated in an age.

I've been working a lot of overtime recently, 102.5 hours to be precise, and I feel a little worn out. I'll be relaxing for a while over the next week or four. Probably painting some mini's in anticipation of the awesome new GW releases, namely the new Black Templar Tactical Squads (no buying Space Wolves, yay!), Assault Terminators and Plastic Scouts, ny army will be almost all plastic, just 5 metal models in the whole army.

My Wood Elves though, yegawds!

It's going to be an all Elf force, so I'll be using loads of metals, but WHFB tends to be that way, ho hum, so it goes.

Tired now, post over, going to go to bed and read comics.

prince_agraxor @ 2005-05-17T00:04:00

2005-05-16T23:14:07Z

So, my Granda isn't getting better, he's gotten worse.

His kidneys have failed and he's on a dialysis machine.

I went to see him today, he looked really peaceful, but seeing him lying there with a machine breathing for him crushed something inside of me.

If I can occupy myself with other people, if I'm in company, I can avoid thinking about it, but here, on my own, it weighs heavy on my mind.

prince_agraxor @ 2005-05-14T20:57:00

2005-05-14T19:58:37Z

I didn't make it to the hospital, my mum, gran and dad were all going and they didn't want too many people going. He's getting better, so I'll be visiting on Monday afternoon as I have the day off.

prince_agraxor @ 2005-05-13T17:02:00

2005-05-13T16:15:25Z

I'm pretty worried about my Grandfather, he's in hospital recovering from an emergency operation.

He collapsed last night after having an anuerism, the next few days are critical, he could die.

I've never had to cope with anything like this before, no one really close to me has died.

I'm supposed to go to the hospital tonight to see him but I don't know if I can cope seeing him like that.

I just hope he makes it.

Denver can fuck off

2005-05-11T21:19:57Z

This kind of shit pisses me off in the most major way possible.

Taken from RockyMountainNews.com, by Bill Johnson

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/columnist/0,1299,DRMN_86_109,00.html

It has to be one of the dumbest laws, ever. And I don't even own or like pit bulls. It's nothing personal, only that I'd never keep any animal that eats as much or more than I do. Still, I can weep for the pit bulls of Denver, particularly for the puppies that never did anything other than get born into the breed.

Yet here we have the city of Denver, newly sprung from legislative and judicial restraint, rounding up pits over the past couple of days and killing them like rats during The Plague.

A uniformed officer arrives at a home. "I'll get him," she announces to her partner. Rather than fight it all, a distraught man emerges, weighs going to jail and a fine, and in the end hands over his dog.

"I'm definitely sad," he later tells a reporter. "He's like a member of my family."

Later in the day, a woman pleads: "I don't have no dogs!

"There ain't no dogs in the basement!" she yells as the uniformed man and woman, responding to an informant's report of a pit bull, interrogate her. Outside, squad cars filled with police officers wait to see if they are needed.

"I'm just doing my job," the woman officer later laments.

It has been eight years since I last had a dog, God rest him. And the one thing I truly know is I would have never given him over to the dogcatcher to be killed simply because he was a beagle.

I would hardly care if a judge in the city where I lived said it was the rule and the law. Yet this has been happening since Monday in Denver, when a state law prohibiting bans of "breed-specific" dogs was overturned and the city's moratorium on pit bull confiscation and killing was lifted.

And no one much is saying a thing.

It is why we need to speak with William Suro. He is a veterinarian of 45 years, who in 1988 started the MaxFund, a nonprofit that provides medical care for injured animals with no known owners, which seeks new homes for them.

It is a shelter that has never killed a single dog.

Bill Suro, 69, for years has wrangled with Denver in the courts of legal and public opinion over the ban, passed in the wake of the pit bull killing of a young child.

"Unfair. Stupid," Bill Suro says of this week's roundup. "It remains an emotional response to a terrible thing that happened, but one that doesn't really help those hurt or killed by vicious dogs."

Bill Suro is a blunt-spoken and uncompromising defender of animals, and a man who believes in harsh punishment for those who abuse and kill them.

He has in recent hours counseled numerous terrier owners, given the shock of their lives simply because their pets resemble pits and were threatened with euthanasia. Denver animal control authorities acknowledge receiving and being sent on numerous "could be a pit bull" calls.

"It makes me and every animal lover and organization across this country just sick," he said. "It's crazy."

He and his wife, Nanci, over the past few months have emptied MaxFund of every pit bull they once housed, shipping them to like-minded shelters outside of Denver.

He puts the number at close to 20 pit bulls. Some owners, too, have come to MaxFund, only to be turned away. He and Nanci, he said, have done all they could.

"We would absolutely love to be the Underground Railroad for pit bulls, but we know the city would close us down."

Yes, I tell him, but aren't pit bulls actually the human flesh-ripping monsters they are portrayed to be?

Bill Suro snickers at my naivete.

"I've been a veterinarian for 45 years, and I've never once been attacked or bitten by a pit bull. There are other breeds where I have gone into an examination room and really been on my guard. I will not tell you which, but they scare me."

Cities like Denver, he says, whip up pit bull hysteria. And that is all it is, he said. People now all believe every pit bull "is a coiled and snarling attacker. It's nonsense."

Cities, he said, would be much better served if they took a simple look at canine attacks from recent years.

"Eighty percent all fatal attacks in the U.S. are caused by male dogs. I guess, given this, it would be prudent to now ban all breeds of male dogs."

Denver, he said, does not at the same time send dogcatchers to cite owners of non-neutered dogs,

"It should know there have been fatal attacks in the U.S. by Pomeranians, that half a dozen attacks that caused death or serious injuries were by cocker spaniels."

And then he raises an issue I had not contemplated, and which I do not lend much credence to. But I will give him his say because it matches what has happened the last two days in the city:

"There appears a racial end of this," Bill Suro says.

"Look at the dogsthat have been impounded, and the surnames of their owners. . . . They aren't killing dogs from Cherry Creek. They pick on the easiest people to pick on, the ones who give up easiest," he said, adding that he has forwarded this claim to the American Civil Liberties Union.

What happens, I ask, when all of the Denver pit bulls have been rounded up and put down?

He would not want to be a Malamute, he said.

A male Malamute attacked and killed a 7-year-old girl in Fruita last Saturday night.

"It is not the breed," an unsmiling Bill Suro said.

Mobile phone technology goes too far

2005-05-08T03:02:11Z

Bluetooth is truely a wonderful thing, is it not?

No, it fucking isn't.

I got sent a video of a woman taking a shit in another womans mouth.

What the fuck is up with shit like that? (see what I did there?)

Who the fuck actually gets off on it?

Answers on a postcard please.

Moo, moo like a motherfucking cow.

Agraxor.

prince_agraxor @ 2005-05-03T21:57:00

2005-05-03T21:01:06Z

* Take the bands from my list that you have seen play live, and post them in your own lj.
* Add more bands until you have 30 that you've seen.

01 Linkin Park
02 AC/DC
03 Ian Brown
04 Manic Street Preachers
05 Pantera
06 Six by Seven
07 Placebo
08 Deftones
09 3 Colours Red
10 A Perfect Circle
11 Sepultura
12 Backyard Babies
13 Rico
14 Motorhead
15 The Wildhearts
16 AC/DC
17 The Offspring
18 Idlewild
19 Electric Six
20 The Scorpions
21 Slipknot
22 My Ruin
23 Coal Chamber
24 One Minute Silence
25 Pitchshifter
26 Judas Priest
27 Daedalian
28 Slayer
29 Biohazard
30 Nashville Pussy